I am alive, I promise you!
After all this time, I am back online, and I AM FINALLY READING AGAIN!
I’ve had a tough couple of months, and my anxiety levels had peaked at a point that I had no confidence in myself and no motivation to get out of bed and do the things I love (including reading!). Not going to lie, I began to resent that I hadn’t come on here, that I’d not written any reviews, that I’d let down those I’d promised to review books for, and that made me even more reluctant to read and write again: I just wanted to fade away under a rock, never to be seen again.
So what changed?
I got my confidence in myself back! The beacon of light in the distance for me was the possibility of getting to university, yet my self-esteem was so low that I thought that I wouldn’t get offers from any of my 5 universities; I think that being so adamant that I would be rejected was putting me off of reading and writing as I had truly begun to think that I was useless at it. This has changed over the past fortnight, primarily as I’ve had two university offers – and what’s more – one was for my favourite course, one which is competitive and so I felt certain that my portfolio was not going to be up to scratch. Yet I got an offer, and knowing that I have work to do and grades to meet is making me all the more determined to get back to my former self in order to get me to that university in September. I’m not quite there yet, but I’m feeling better about myself, and I’m determined to remind you all that I’m still out here, and I’m going to continue doing what I love doing the most.
I hope you’re all well, and I genuinely do mean it when I say that I will be posting again soon.